


The Devil You Know

by Angela



Category: Banana Fish
Genre: Coming of Age, Gen, M/M, Pre-Canon
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-12-03
Updated: 2017-12-02
Packaged: 2019-02-09 21:59:04
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Rape/Non-Con, Underage
Chapters: 4
Words: 12,815
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/12897699
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Angela/pseuds/Angela
Summary: Three years before the events in the manga, when Ash is just fourteen years old, his teacher tells him that he's leaving him forever. Ash tries not to care.





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> I realize that this fic might be seriously AU after one reads Yoshida-sensei's side stories that deal with this period of Ash's life, and I can't pretend that this fact doesn't bug the hell out of me, but I really wanted to write this story and I might never get a translation of Private Opinion to check how far off I am... Oh, and the language is bad and this part alludes to some nasty Papa Dino sex, but otherwise I don't think there's anything too offensive here.

The Devil You Know  
by Angela  
03-01-06

part one

The shooting range was packed, like a bowling alley on a Friday night and twice as noisy. Ash fired six rounds into the paper target, hitting three times in the heart and twice between the eyes. The sixth slid just to the left of center, skimming the figure's temple in what would have amounted to a very unfortunate graze. _There's nothing more dangerous in this world than a wounded animal, Ash, so if you're going to shoot, shoot to kill._ Blanca's old admonishment echoed in his head even more than the ringing in his ears. The first three had been steady enough – he tried to figure what had changed by the time he fired that last shot.

“Your arms are still too weak.” Blanca's voice was fuzzy and far away. Ash removed his ear covers and looked at his teacher.

“Your arms are still too weak,” the man repeated, tapping his fingers on Ash's skinny bicep. “By the time you've shot a few times, your strength gives out and your arms waver. You haven't been working with the weights I bought you.”

Ash scowled. He hated being told he was weak, but he hated it even more when Blanca tried to make him big and bulky like him. He glanced at his teacher's target; the chest area was a gaping hole of perfect shots. “I don't need to be some overgrown body builder to hold a fucking gun steady,” he protested.

Blanca raised his eyebrows; Ash wasn't supposed to swear. “You're not doing such a great job of it now, are you?” he asked reasonably. 

Everything Blanca did or said was reasonable. Ash was tired of it. “Bulking up would be detrimental to my profession,” he said snidely. “Sickos don't wanna fuck boys who look like they could defend themselves.” He knew that his tutor wasn't a fan of what he did, but Ash liked to remind him from time to time – it didn't seem fair that Blanca was able to just not think about it, when Ash had to go through it every day.

The older man closed his eyes, rubbing his hand over his eyebrows in a gesture of wearied patience. “How am I supposed to do my job,” he asked, “if you won't do anything I instruct you to?”

“Not my problem.” Ash loaded the pistol and popped the earmuffs back onto his head. “Dino cuts your paycheck, not me.” Determined to show his teacher that he didn't need to lift weights to be strong enough to handle a five-pound revolver, he fired six shots in close succession, all tightly clustered in the target's groin area. It satisfied a buried aggression to do that, even if he knew it was considered bad form at the shooting range.

Blanca shook his head. “Tacky, tacky.” His voice was scolding but his eyes were bright, almost as though he approved of Ash's tiny rebellion. He was already removing his gloves and putting his 357 Magnum into its carrying case. “Come on. We can't be late for dinner.”

Ash followed his tutor's lead, except that his gun wasn't as nice as Blanca's. The Smith and Wesson was the older man's pride and joy; Ash wasn't allowed even to touch it until Blanca thought he was ready. Apparently some woman gave it to him, a Soviet spy named Raisa that he'd been infatuated with once upon a time. Ash's pistol was far more generic, crafted almost carelessly on some kind of assembly line. 

Outside it was already getting dark, and thick clouds threatened snow. Ash pulled the collar of his jacket more firmly around his throat, wishing he'd thought to bring gloves. Luckily, the car was parked only half a block away. He trudged behind Blanca, noting the way his teacher's fine cashmere coat billowed in the wind. 

“I'm planning on retiring to the Caribbean,” Blanca said suddenly, turning only slightly to be heard over the noise of traffic. “I've had it with New York winters – I plan to spend the rest of my days on a beach with bikini-clad women.”

Ash shrugged. Blanca was always saying things like that, things that had no bearing whatsoever on the situation at hand.

“I'm leaving in two weeks.”

The blond boy looked up, his green eyes startled. “What?” he asked, not sure he'd heard right over the wind. 

They had reached the car. Blanca unlocked the passenger door and wordlessly moved around to his side. Ash got in, feeling confused and the slightest bit angry. What game was his tutor playing now, saying things like that? Well he wasn't going to take the bait. Blanca would just have to explain himself on his own.

The car was halfway back to the Golzine mansion when the dark man spoke again. “You heard what I said, kitty cat,” he said quietly. “What do you think of it? How do you feel about me leaving?”

Ash hated when Blanca called him kitty cat. 

“Why the hell should I give a damn what you do?” he snarled, staring at the bumper of the car in front of them. He sensed Blanca looking at him, but he refused to meet his eyes. If his teacher was expecting Ash to give him a big emotional farewell, he had another thing coming. 

*****

By the time Blanca parked in the garage, Ash had forty minutes before dinner was served. It used to be that he'd come to the table whenever he felt like it, usually wearing the ripped jeans and t-shirts that Dino disdained, but lately things were different. For the past six months, both Dino and Blanca insisted that Ash be dressed and on time for dinner. It wasn't worth the trouble anymore to rebel against it; Ash discovered that giving a little here and there made his life exponentially easier.

He went straight to his room, still not speaking to Blanca. Golzine had sent a suit for him to wear, which meant that he was expecting guests again. This one was as fine as the others, woven with rich threads and lined with silk. Ash hated it. It was ridiculous to spend so much money on clothes you couldn't even move around in, and Papa Dino bought him a new one every time they had dinner with anyone even mildly important. Still, they fetched a pretty penny in consignment shops, so Ash couldn't complain. He'd managed to hoard almost two thousand dollars since Dino started demanding he dress for meals – that was more than worth an hour or two of discomfort. 

A hot shower took up almost half of his time. Ash stood under the hard pulse of steam and water until his skin was red and his fingers wrinkling. The wind outside had been bitterly cold, and for some reason he couldn't seem to warm up. The bathroom was well heated, though – even the towels were toasty from the heated towel rack he'd talked Dino into ordering from the Sharper Image catalog. 

Ash rubbed dry his spiky blond hair and wandered back into his bedroom to dress. As he reached into his drawer for a pair of underwear, his fingers brushed the edges of the postcard he kept hidden there. He pulled it out, somehow still surprised to see it after all these weeks. 

The card had a photograph of the Empire State Building on one side. The other had just a few short words scrawled in blue ink: Dr. Joseph Morrow, Kingsboro Psychiatric Center, room 261. It had been over a month since the postcard had been delivered, and he still hadn't had the chance to investigate. Assuming the information was correct, his years-long search would be over just as soon as he was able to sneak away.

He had no reason to believe that the tip had been fabricated. The source was trustworthy – a wealthy client who was so infatuated with Ash that he'd risk his own job to do as the boy asked. All it took was a velvet-tongued blow job and a carefully worded question, once he found someone in a position to help him. Ash had no choice about the blow job, but this guy's particular enthusiasm for the whole process gave Ash the edge it took to manipulate him.

He slid the postcard back into its hiding place at the bottom of the drawer. All he needed was one day. He had everything planned out, he just had to figure out how to get a full day away from Papa Dino's obsessive scrutiny. In years past it had been easy to outwit the hired thugs and sneak away, but lately he'd been guarded and kept like an exotic pet. He needed to find a way to slip the leash.

**** 

The expensive suit ended up on the floor next to Papa Dino's shoes. 

Ash looked at it crumpled almost obscenely on the pristine white carpet. On top of him, Dino grunted his final release. His sweaty body collapsed, seeming like it would crush the boy but then rolling off to one side at the last moment. The bed springs protested and Ash tried to curb the jolt in his queasy stomach.

The dinner party had gone well. Dino made a few new business deals, strengthening his brand-new position within the Corsican mafia. A few of the men had taken a distinct interest in Ash, but Dino refused them all, opting instead to show his power by keeping his pet all to himself. Right now the mob boss was so disgusting that Ash almost wished he'd been sent off with one of the guests. Almost, but not quite. He never knew what to expect with a new trick – better the devil you know than the devil you don't.

“Mmm, that was very nice, my little wildcat,” Dino purred as he stroked Ash's messy hair. “You seem to be getting taller every day.” 

Usually he wasn't the cuddling type. Ash cringed inside as Golzine petted him. The old man's lips grazed his temple in another uncharacteristic caress. He closed his eyes, hoping Dino wasn't planning another go.

Ash's instinct was to lash out, to say something crude that would make the mobster angry enough to kick him out of bed. That was how he'd avoided double features in the past, but Blanca urged him to be a passive little kitten while his tricks basked in the afterglow. Sex lowered all kinds of defenses, and Ash had heard men ramble about all kinds of privileged information, never thinking that the pretty little boy beneath them might be able to understand what they were talking about. Blanca encouraged Ash to listen carefully and learn what he could – you never knew when something would come in handy. 

Ash guessed that his teacher hadn't meant for him to use those tactics on his own boss, but the blond didn't see much difference between the information Dino let slip and the rest of it. It could be useful in the same way, one day. So he lay still and silent, trying not to register the press of Dino's naked skin against his body or the way sweat beaded on his bald forehead. The older man continued to fondle and caress, and Ash tried to keep his face passive, open, almost as though he enjoyed it. 

The phone rang. Dino sat up and slipped his dressing gown over his exposed flesh; Ash was grateful. “Golzine here.” The man's face went serious, his spine straightening. The blond watched curiously – must've been someone important. 

“I can be there by Tuesday. Tomorrow?” Dino knit his brows in frustration. “Yes, tomorrow is fine. No, there's no problem; I just need to reschedule a few things. Yes. Yes. I'll be there.”

Dino hung up the phone and sighed, his shoulders going slack. For a moment he looked so browbeaten that Ash almost let himself feel sorry for the man. He'd been advancing in the organization by leaps and bounds, and a career like that required a lot of concessions to higher ups. He'd seen Golzine drop everything and cancel plans made weeks in advance because someone near the top of the organization needed him. It made the mob boss humble, if only for a few moments, and Ash thought he needed a whole lot more of that emotion.

Golzine sighed again and glanced at Ash, who let his face go slack like he hadn't been paying the slightest bit of attention. “It looks like we're going to Chicago tomorrow morning, wildcat,” he said in a self-important voice. “Pack for overnight – I have a lot to take care of.” He stood up and padded across the room toward his luxurious bathroom.

Chicago? It was like a gift from heaven. “Can I stay here?” Ash asked, trying to put just enough petulance in his voice to sound cute but not annoying. “Flying makes my ears hurt.”

The water switched on in the bathroom and the old man beckoned him closer. Ash pulled a blanket over his naked body and dutifully crossed the room. “Blanca will be here, so it won't be like I'd be all alone,” he reminded his master.

But Dino was already shaking his head. “You know I want you with me when I travel,” he said disagreeably. “You get into too much trouble when left to your own devices.”

He was referring to an incident where he and some of his friends 'borrowed' one of Golzine's cars for a joyride. Dino had to come down to the station to bail him out of jail for underage driving and almost pressed charges for car theft. “That was months ago,” Ash protested. He wasn't likely to slip up like that again – Golzine had dealt a fierce punishment, and Ash still had faint scars around his wrists from the chains. “And Blanca's here to keep me in line this time.”

The older man's face didn't change, and Ash knew that if he said no one more time, that would be it. He dropped to his knees, letting his blanket puddle to the floor around him. His hand shook a little as he reached for Dino's thigh – let him think it was passion rather than disgust. “Please, Papa,” he asked again, lowering his lashes and leaning to kiss the man's hardening member. His tongue flicked from between his lips and the old man shuddered. “You know I can be good if I try,” he coaxed in a silky voice.

Dino buried his fingers in Ash's soft, disheveled hair, pulling him closer. He moaned softly and smiled. It was unusual for Ash to initiate anything. “I suppose you can stay,” he conceded fondly as he closed his eyes.

*****

Blanca was to be his babysitter. Ash was irritated by the idea of having to get his teacher off his back, but it was better than being dragged to Illinois and altogether missing this chance. They stood on the brick terrace as Dino gave his staff last-minute instructions. “I'll be home by tomorrow night,” he told Blanca as his suitcases were being put in the trunk, “in time for dinner with you and Ash, so don't let him make you late.”

Blanca nodded, smiling and glancing a warning at Ash from beneath his sunglasses. “I'm afraid I won't be attending due to personal business,” the teacher said smoothly, “but I assure you that Ash will be present. And presentable.” He raised his eyebrows at Ash's tattered jeans and old sweatshirt.

As the two men went over the final details, Ash's brain hit overdrive. There was no way he could slip away unnoticed while Blanca was on watch, so how could he convince his teacher that he needed time alone? He was constantly aware of the postcard in his back pocket, of what he needed to do and exactly how little time he had to accomplish it. The quickest way was to bring his tutor in on the plan, but Ash was reluctant to do that. He glanced at Blanca from the corner of his eye.

There wasn't a man alive that Ash trusted more. His teacher never looked at him like he was a piece of meat, and in this life, that meant a lot. Ash also got the feeling that there was affection between them, that Blanca thought of him as more than just some smart ass kid that he was supposed to take care of. He wasn't sure of the last, the assassin was zealously private about his personal feelings, but Ash cared more about Blanca than he did about anyone else, and couldn't imagine the feelings weren't somehow reciprocated. 

Still, he wasn't about to share this secret with him. It was too intimate, too much a part of his life that he kept boxed away and separate from the hell he'd been living since. And he'd been working at it for too long to have the whistle blown on him today.

Dino's Cadillac disappeared down the curved driveway and the hired thugs dispersed, leaving only Ash and Blanca still standing in the chilly winter air. Blanca smirked at him, looking almost proudly over the top of his sunglasses. “I don't even want to know what you had to do to get him to leave you here,” he said. “But you must've been a sweet little kitty. I told you you'd attract more flies with honey than vinegar.”

A memory of the night before, the shared shower and then being forced to sleep tucked beneath Dino's beefy arm, flashed through Ash's mind and he scowled. “What the hell do you care about it?” he countered. 

Blanca laughed. “So what little adventure did you have planned for today?” He plucked the postcard out of Ash's pocket. “Must have something to do with this, the way you can't keep your hands off of it.”

Ash lunged for the card, but Blanca twisted it out of reach, at the same time reading the information out loud. “Give that back, you son of a bitch! It's got nothing to do with you, dammit!”

Blanca paused, holding the postcard high over his head. “It's yours isn't it? That means it's my concern, too. Everything about you is my concern.”

Ash shoved his hands into the pockets of his sweatshirt. “Who the fuck are you today? Dino?” he asked sullenly, aware that there was no way Blanca would leave him alone now that he was onto him. “You sound just like him.” 

“Monsieur feels as I do. We want to keep you out of harm's way.”

“Out of harm's way?” Ash laughed bitterly. Surely Blanca wasn't that deluded. “That bastard would skin me alive if it didn't mean he couldn't play with me later. He doesn't give a damn how harmed I am, as long as I still belong to him.” 

Nodding his concession, Blanca smiled humorlessly. “That's not untrue. Still, in the end, doesn't it come to the same thing? Neither Monsieur nor I would like to see you hurt by outside forces, even if our reasons are different.” He gave the postcard back to Ash and dropped his hand on the boy's shoulder. “So if you must seek out this Dr. Morrow today, I'm coming with you.”

His hand felt so warm through his sweatshirt that it took Ash a long moment before it finally occurred to him to shrug it off. It might not be too bad, having Blanca around. He could drive, and it'd look less suspicious than a kid wandering alone in a mental hospital. “No questions, okay?” he said gruffly. “I'm springing someone from this place, but you can't ask me anything about him. And Dino can't find out, not matter what.” 

Blanca looked amused. “Of course. I won't breathe a word.”

Ash wasn't convinced, but it was a risk he'd have to take. It was more important that his teacher never find out the identity of the guy they were going to get – if he didn't know, he couldn't tell. Ash didn't want to imagine how Dino would hold it over him if he ever found out that he had a brother.


	2. Chapter 2

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Blanca and Ash work together to spring Griffin from the asylum.

The Devil You Know  
by Angela  
03-03-06

part two

The Kingsboro Psychiatric Center was on the far side of Brooklyn. Riding with Blanca was faster than taking the train, but it still seemed to take ages longer than Ash expected. He stared out the window, wondering what kind of place it was and why Griffin was there. Something serious must've happened to him. Something so huge that it changed everything, that it made him not come home.

Everyone assumed he was dead. 'Missing in Action and Presumed Dead' was what the telegram called it. Ash remembered that day – he'd just turned six and he was waiting for his happy birthday letter from Griff. His father hadn't even broken the news kindly. _You won't be getting any more letters from your brother. He's dead._ Even then, Ash hadn't believed it. There was no body, no proof. No one had seen him fall. His brother had just disappeared.

It wasn't until Dino started whoring him out to military types that it occurred to Ash that he could make his own connections and start his own investigation. It hadn't taken too long, considering the randomness of the encounters. Just three years of asking the right questions and now he had an address. It might just be another link in the chain, but Ash didn't think so. This felt different; he was going to see his brother that day.

But spending ten years in a psychiatric ward must be difficult. Ash had no idea what kind of drugs his brother might be taking, what kind of treatment he was receiving or what symptoms prompted the doctors to commit him in the first place. He reminded himself that it wasn't going to be the kind of loving reunion he'd seen in the movies. Griff might not even be Griff. Not yet. Not until he could be weaned off the drugs, until he could be made to believe that he wasn't really crazy. He shook his head, wondering again what could've happened. Once he'd believed that nothing in the world would've kept Griffin from coming come to him; now it was clear that he'd been wrong. He just needed to know why.

“So this person is a friend of yours.” Blanca was careful not to phrase it as a question. Ash ignored him. Since they'd gotten in the car he'd been doing that, trying to get information without asking direct questions. Ash wasn't about to fall for it. He watched the pedestrians crossing at the light in front of them, all of them bundled up in coats and hats – the forecast called for flurries. 

Blanca sighed. “I agreed to your stipulations, but you're going to have to tell me something. Surely you have a plan of some sort.”

He was right. Ash looked sideways at his tutor. Even a fighter as brilliant as Blanca wouldn't be of much use if they weren't organized. “I figure we'll go to room 261 first, just to make sure that Griff is really there. Next we'll track down Joseph Morrow and get him to tell us about his condition. Then we'll take Griffin someplace else.” Ash had a place all lined up – someone he knew who couldn't refuse, once he explained it all. But he didn't tell Blanca this. With any luck, he'd be able to tuck Griff away without anyone knowing where to find him.

“And if Dr. Morrow doesn't wish to discharge his patient? Do you have a contingency plan?”

Of course he had a contingency plan. Ash was pretty sure that Morrow wasn't just going to let him walk away with his brother. With that in mind, he packed a little extra that morning. Tucked inside one sock was the biggest roll of cash that Ash had ever had at one time. Dino funded this excursion with all those fancy suits and other presents he'd given him over the years. It all sold for a little over twenty-one hundred dollars, and Ash was prepared to spend every last dime to make sure that Griff was somewhere safe. “If he won't give me Griff, I'll bribe him.” He lifted his sock to show the bulge to his teacher. 

Blanca nodded appreciatively. “And if that doesn't work?”

It wasn't something Ash wanted to do. He hoped against hope that it wouldn't come to anything so serious, but he knew the possibility was there. “If that doesn't work,” he said slowly, “we fight.” Blanca wouldn't argue. After all, he hadn't been training Ash all these months for nothing.

*****

By the time they parked the car, Blanca had taken his plan and improved upon it. “How do you expect to be let in to find your friend?” he'd asked as they exited from the highway. “I doubt that the Kingsboro Psychiatric Center has a policy of letting little punks mess with their patients.”

Ash didn't have an answer for him. It hadn't occurred to him that the nurses at the desk wouldn't let him by. Usually he got what he wanted from women, who liked to coo over his pretty face and speculate about what he'd look like when he grew up, but Blanca made him realize that he couldn't necessarily count on that. “Men are becoming nurses more and more these days,” his teacher reminded him with a smirk. “And believe it or not, most men won't be as taken with your tight little ass as the company you've been keeping.”

So when when they walked through the doors of the psychiatric hospital, Blanca was in charge. “Follow my lead,” he whispered, walking confidently toward the front counter.

In one fluid movement he removed his sunglasses and leaned casually against the counter. His smile had never been more charming as he greeted the young brunette nurse. Ash resisted the urge to roll his eyes and instead paid close attention to his tutor; he could learn from this.

“Hi there,” Blanca began in a friendly voice, somehow erasing all traces of his European accent. “My name is David Simmons. I'm a tutor for special needs children; this is my pupil, Ash.” 

Ash wondered exactly what Blanca meant by 'special needs.' He supposed it could mean poor kids, which is exactly what Ash looked like. He hoped his teacher didn't expect him to act slow. The nurse, whose name was Angie, if her name tag was any indication, glanced at Ash. Her slightly distracted look changed suddenly and she grinned.

“And how can I help you two gentlemen?” Angie asked, turning her beaming face back to Blanca.

“Well, Ash needs to do a project at school, a short biography of a Vietnam-era vet. He has no relatives who were the right age to fight, but my sister's friend, a nurse here, I believe, suggested one of your patients might fit the bill.” He looked at the blond boy, his eyes shining in a safe, friendly way that Ash had never seen before. “What was that fellow's name again?”

“Griff.” A lump seemed to form in his throat and he swallowed hard. “Griffin Callenreese. He's in room-” he pretended to check the postcard in his pocket. “Room 261.”

The nurse's face fell “Callenreese? But I think he's in a restricted ward . . . ” She keyed something in the computer, her expression tense. “I don't see how you could interview him.”

“Ah,” Blanca sighed. “My sister's friend – I wish I could remember her name – Jessica? Jennifer? She said that she'd already spoken with Dr. Morrow, that it was all arranged.”

The mention of the doctor's name seemed to change everything. Angie's face melted back into a smile, one she seemed happy to share with both Blanca and Ash. “If Dr. Morrow has already okayed it, then everything should be fine,” she said, pulling a clipboard from a drawer. “If you handsome young men would just sign in here, I'll be happy to show you how to get upstairs.” Her lashes batted a touch too deliberately for Ash's taste, but Blanca seemed to be enjoying the show. He gazed at the pretty nurse with unmasked appreciation.

They signed in, Blanca under his pseudonym and possibly masking his handwriting. Ash just scrawled 'Ash Lynx' on the paper in his usual way. No database would be able to trace that name to him, after all. With a deliberately sexy walk, nurse Angie took them down the hall to the elevator. “On the second floor, turn right. I'll tell Nina, the nurse at the checkpoint, that you're coming.”

Blanca admired her backside as she left them. This time, Ash did roll his eyes. “You got us in exactly the same way I would've,” the boy hissed at him as soon as they were on the elevator. For all of his nay-saying in the car, wasn't it sex appeal that got them where they were?

His teacher's mouth twitched. “I think our cover story convinced her,” he said lightly. “Everything else was just gravy. Besides, don't you think you're a bit young to be relying on sex to get what you want?”

As soon as he said it, Ash could tell that Blanca regretted that last comment. He shook his head, looking like he wanted to apologize. “Forget it,” Ash said wearily, wondering what it must be like to think like his teacher. The man was ruthless in every possible way, but somehow still believed in the innocence of childhood. Of course Ash was too young. Anyone in the world would be too young for what Ash had gone through, but you didn't see him crying over it. No, Ash was determined to use whatever he had to get where he was going – if sex was all he had just now, that would have to do.

The nurse at the next station giggled as she waved them through a set of swinging doors. She followed, keys jingling as she searched for the right one. A few feet down the hall was a locked steel door with a reinforced glass window. Nina unlocked it and smiled. “Room 261 is on the left,” she said, her eyes lingering on Blanca's face a touch too long. “I don't know if you'll get anything out of him, but good luck.”

***** 

Ash barely waited for her to close the door behind him before he darted down the hall. Griff's door was ajar, and he shoved it open with unchecked eagerness. “Griffin!” he cried excitedly, forgetting everything he'd told himself about not getting his hopes up and taking things one step at a time.

Griff didn't answer. He was awake, staring into space with an overdosed, empty expression on his face. His eyes barely flitted to the doorway as Ash skidded through it. After a half-second's glance, they were gone, focused somewhere far in front of him again.

“Griff?” Ash asked in a shaky voice. It was obviously him. He looked a lot older; with dull blond hair and a lifeless expression, he could have passed for five years older than his twenty-eight years, but he was unmistakable. This was him, Ash's long lost big brother. The only other person he'd cried bitter tears for, the only person he was sure he couldn't really get along without. “Griff, can you hear me? It's me – it's Aslan.”

Blanca was in the doorway. If he heard Ash use his real name, he didn't react to it. He put a hand on the boy's shoulder. He didn't speak, but Ash understood the gesture. Support. He hadn't expected it of his teacher.

“What the fuck did they do to you?” he whispered under his breath. He stepped forward, away from the doorway and away from Blanca's comforting touch. He crept close to the bed and reached a hand slowly to his brother's, trying not to startle him. Griffin didn't react to the touch, not at first. “Griff, are you in there?” Ash asked him desperately, his quiet voice breaking a little.

His brother turned to face him, his eyes not quite focusing even as his other hand reached out to touch Ash's golden hair. The ghost of an expression – maybe a smile? – crossed his face as his fingers smoothed the blond tangles.

Ash barely breathed. “Jesus Christ,” he whispered. “You recognize me, don't you?”

Griffin opened his mouth, trying to speak. His lips were cracked and dry, and he had trouble forming the words. Ash squeezed his hand; he tried again. “Banana fish,” the invalid croaked. His voice was weak and raw, unused for god knows how long. “Banana fish.”

Ash was taken aback. “What the fuck does that mean?” he asked desperately, glancing back at his teacher for some kind of answer. Blanca shrugged. His face was void of expression as usual, but to Ash he seemed a little tense. It took a moment for him to register why, but then he heard the footsteps in the hall. They were hurrying – possibly running – toward them. Blanca stepped into the room, leaving the doorway empty.

“How the hell did you get into this ward?” In a second the space was filled. A small man, not much taller than Ash stood there, outraged. One hand was braced on the door frame and he seemed out of breath. “Who authorized you to see this patient? Leave this instant or I'm calling security.” He was dark and almost rodent-like, with a sharp nose and a well-groomed beard.

Ash was trying to think of an answer when Blanca reacted. He smiled, offering his hand for shaking. “You must be Dr. Morrow,” he said in a soothing voice. “I'm Blanca and this is Ash. We work for Dino Golzine.”

Morrow blanched. Evidently he'd heard of Papa Dino. It wasn't surprising; he made the local and state-wide news often enough. “I don't understand. Why are you here?”

Blanca deferred, glancing at Ash.

The boy stood tall, trying to look and feel older than his fourteen years. “What do you know about this patient?” he asked. “We need to know everything you can tell us about Griffin Callenreese.”

***** 

Five minutes later they were in Dr. Morrow's office. The doctor wasn't happy with the situation, but he didn't seem willing to risk turning away agents of the best-known crime lord in New York. He offered them seats, and Ash sat in one of the plush leather chairs. Blanca declined, standing near the door like hired muscle.

Morrow's gaze shifted nervously at the muscle-bound European before he relaxed enough to start. “I was Mr. Callenreese's doctor in Saigon,” he began without preamble. “When I met him, he'd suffered multiple gunshot wounds in the legs and it was generally believed that he'd never regain use of them. Friendly fire, I was told. But his legs weren't my responsibility; I'm a psychiatrist.” He nervously fiddled with a pencil, seeming to expect Ash to say something. When the boy was silent, he proceeded.

“Griffin had suffered severe mental trauma, that much was certain. We didn't have the equipment to assess damage, but I suspected from the start that he had taken some kind of drug that deteriorated his brain. All the scans and work done stateside supported this, as did the story of his injuries. Apparently he had been a habitual drug user, and one night, presumably under the influence of the same drug that crippled his mind, he started shooting up his own platoon. Another soldier – Max Glenreed, I think he name was – saved everyone by taking Callenreese out. He didn't shoot to kill, which made him a more forgiving soldier than most I've met, but he did quite a number on his legs. Even after all these years, my patient can barely stand on his own, much less take steps to walk.”

Max Glenreed? Ash knew that name. He'd been the subject of so many of Griff's letters. Max had been his best friend, possibly his only friend, in Vietnam. “I don't understand,” Ash said, trying to sound professional while his heart was hammering like a little kid's. “It's been ten years. Surely in all this time, the effects of the drugs he took would've gone away. It looks to me like you guys keep him doped up in this place.”

Dr. Morrow shook his head. “The only medications we give him are painkillers for his legs, which still ache on a regular basis. Callenreese is here as a permanent resident – the damage done to his brain cannot be reversed. May I ask why Dino Golzine has an interest in such a lost cause?”

“That's not your concern,” Ash barked. “So why wasn't Griffin's family notified of his condition? They were told he was MIA; none of them know that he's alive and in New York.”

Morrow was starting to get angry at being pushed around by a kid. “The Army had its reasons,” he said tightly. “And even Dino Golzine wouldn't have the power to take on the U.S. Army. I don't understand why, after all these years, he's taken an interest in Callenreese, but don't think the military won't find out.”

His threat took Ash by surprise. If some general visited Papa Dino because of this, would the mob boss be able to track it back to Ash? He glanced at Blanca, hoping for some kind of reaction. His teacher's face was impassive. “It doesn't need to happen that way,” Ash said desperately, trying to keep his voice steady and cool. He reached his fingers beneath the cuff of his pants and yanked out his cash. He clumsily lifted half of it from the roll, grateful that the doctor's huge desk blocked Morrow's view. With a flourish, he tossed seven hundred-dollar bills onto blotter in front of the psychiatrist. “I'd wager that the Army has forgotten all about Griffin Callenreese,” he bluffed easily. “How long has it been since anyone's checked on him? Seven years? Eight? I'm sure patients here die of natural causes all the time – especially patients with severe brain damage.”

“Are you asking me to kill one of my patients?” Dr. Morrow asked, outraged. He didn't touch the money, but his eyes were drawn down to the fan of bills nonetheless. 

“Of course not,” Ash said in a rush, embarrassed at the misunderstanding. The idea of anyone killing Griff, now that he'd finally found him, was abhorrent. “We just want to take Callenreese with us today. And we want you to find a way to ensure that no one will ask any questions.”

Morrow looked nervous. “Seven hundred dollars might not be enough to keep Golzine's name out of it,” he said in an overly bold tone.

Ash heard Blanca choke. This guy had some balls to try to up the stakes when he seriously believed it was Papa Dino he was doing business with. Either that, or he was too stupid to know better. Ash tossed another three hundred onto the pile. “Is an even thousand enough to make sure that no one comes knocking on Papa Dino's door?”

***** 

Within twenty minutes Ash was pushing his brother's wheelchair out the front doors. It had been more complicated than he'd expected, for some reason it had never occurred to him that Griff could be part of some military secret, but fortunately money spoke as loudly to Joseph Morrow as anyone. He was glad that he'd managed to pay the doctor off for only one thousand. He would've paid more – as much as he had and more – but this left him with more cash to bargain for what was yet to come.

He glanced at his teacher. There was no way Blanca could be part of this next step. “You gonna get the car then?” he asked, tucking the hospital blankets closer around Griff's shoulders. He had no clothes to speak up besides the pajamas he wore and one other pair, and certainly had no use for a coat before that day. But the afternoon was growing colder, and Ash was eager to get his brother someplace warm.

“It'll be just a moment,” Blanca said seriously, donning his sunglasses and pulling the collar of his cashmere trench more snugly against his throat. He headed across the parking lot in long strides. Ash was glad the car was on the far side – he would need as much time as he could get just then. 

The taxi was waiting a few yards away, just as he'd hoped. He'd made the call while Blanca and Dr. Morrow were lifting Griff into his wheelchair, and had worried that it might not be waiting when they finally emerged from the building. But there it was. He waved the driver out for some help, and together they maneuvered Griff into the back seat. Morrow had provided a mild sedative for the trip; apparently Griffin had a tendency toward violent outbursts when overly stimulated. The task wore Ash out; he wondered if Blanca might not be on to something about that weight lifting.

Ash was sliding into the seat next to his tranquil brother when Blanca's black Mercedes Benz pulled up next to them. He opened the window, close enough that he could have held onto Ash, if he wanted. “What are you doing?” he asked, a touch of anger in his voice. “Where are you taking him?”

Ash felt a twinge of remorse. Blanca had been the perfect accomplice up until that point. He knew that there was no way he would've made it this far without him. “I'm sorry,” he began, stepping out of reach. “I can't let you come with me now. I promise I'll be back at Dino's by nightfall.”

His teacher looked outraged. “I can't just let you go wherever you want. If anything happens to you-”

“Nothing will happen,” Ash barked, a bit too strongly. “You're the one who trained me, aren't you? Trust me a little.”

Blanca didn't answer. His eyes looked troubled behind the tinted lenses of his glasses. “Please,” Ash continued in a gentler voice. “I never ask you for anything, do I? Just don't follow me. Let me take care of this by myself.”

His teacher pressed his lips together, considering. Ash could tell that he didn't want to do this, but he was glad to see his request being seriously considered. “All right, kitty cat,” he said finally. “As you wish.”

Ash smiled, grateful. As Blanca's car drove away, he noticed that it had begun snowing.


	3. Chapter 3

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> After snatching Griff from the mental hospital, Ash hides him in Chinatown, meeting up with an old friend.

The Devil You Know  
by Angela   
03-04-06

part three

The taxi stopped on a tiny side street in one of the poorer sections of Chinatown, far away from the tourist strip. Ash paid the driver, tipping him heavily to ensure that no one else would find out about this particular fare. The driver again helped him with Griff, then drove off, leaving Ash standing on the sidewalk, supporting his older brother's weight on his own.

“Hey Griff,” he said to his barely conscious sibling. “Wanna help me out here? Dr. Morrow said you could stand okay.” He got no reaction, but wasn't really surprised. The doctor told him that Griffin was usually unresponsive, that he would go days without acknowledging another human being. The tranquilizer probably just intensified that. 

There was no way he was going to get Griff up the five steps to the door by himself. Obviously, he was going to have to summon help. He fished in his pocket for some change. “Hey Meredith!” he yelled, flinging a penny at the window. “Dr. Meredith! Come out here!” Three more coins clattered against the glass. The doctor's angry face peered from behind the curtains and Ash grinned. A moment later, the door opened.

“What is it now?” the doctor asked caustically. He came down the stoop and took Griff's other arm. “Gunshot? Knife?”

“Neither,” Ash told him. “Just help me get him inside.”

Dr. Meredith did as he was asked, helping support Griffin through the sparse and dingy waiting room and into his back office. Together they eased the man onto a couch. “You're Shorter Wong's friend,” Meredith noted as Ash spread Griff's lap blanket over his legs. “This isn't your side of town.”

He was right. It must seem strange for Ash to show up suddenly, particularly since his friend Shorter wasn't with him. Dr. Meredith was a gynecologist who specialized in abortions. His business was pretty slow, so he picked up extra cash by patching up the scrapes and wounds of the local gang members. Shorter Wong was second in command of the Chinatown group, and more than once Ash had come with him to get a few stitches or to clear up an infected cut. 

“I think we can help each other.” Ash was careful to avoid asking for a favor – he wanted this arrangement with Meredith to be a business deal, not something personal that might demand payback. He explained Griffin's condition, giving him the manila file he'd been able to buy from Dr. Morrow for a hundred extra bucks. He even told the doctor that Griff was his brother, hoping to cement the deal with a bit of sympathy and a feeling of trust. As he finished, he pulled out the wad of cash he still had left. It was just over a thousand dollars.

Ash threw it all on the table, unwilling to barter when it came to Griff's care. “There's more than a grand there,” he explained, noting the doctor's wide-eyed expression. “That's just for agreeing. If you keep him here, take care of him, I'll give you another two hundred every week.”

Meredith flipped through Griff's file. “This man has a very serious condition,” he protested, lingering over a few pages. “I'm an abortion doctor, Ash. This is completely out of my area.”

Ash brushed his protests away. “I know, but it's not like he can go anywhere. All you have to do is feed him, keep him clean, maybe give him a painkiller or a sedative every once in a while. Keep him safe, alive.” He felt desperation rising in his throat. If Meredith said no, he had nowhere else to go. “I know you can use the income.”

The doctor took off his glasses, using the hem of his button-down shirt to rub the lenses clean. “And how do I know you're good for the money? You don't exactly look like you've got a steady job.”

“I can get it.” Ash still had plenty of fancy clothes and jewelry to sell, and when that was gone, he could always find money on the streets. If none of the gangs had work he could do, he knew he could make two hundred a week easily by turning tricks. All he had to figure out was a way to get Dino to let him out on a regular basis. If that didn't work, he'd even stoop to asking his master for an allowance; it'd be humiliating, but Griff was worth it.

“Look,” he said seriously. “Griffin is all I've got in the world. I want him to get better, but that wasn't happening in the goddamn nut house they were keeping him in. You're a good guy, or else you wouldn't patch up my friends so well. I think you'll be good to my brother. I'll get you the money, I swear. Every Sunday morning you'll be two hundred dollars richer.”

“And if you don't pay?” Meredith was already collecting the bills. “What if you get yourself killed before your brother gets well? What then?”

“Whatever you want. Take him to an institution, throw him out on the street, whatever makes you happy. But I'm telling you now, that won't happen. I'll make sure you get that money every week until I can come in here and take him home myself.” Ash took a deep breath, trying to stay calm. He thought this would be easier. “Do we have a deal?”

Dr. Meredith nodded. “Sure.” He reached across the table to shake Ash's hand. “But I want you to deliver the money in person when you can – I don't think I can cure this man if you're not around to remind him of what he has to come home to.”

Now that Ash had seen his brother with his own eyes, proved that he was alive and in need of his help, there would be no keeping him away. He had a million things he needed to tell Griff – even if only the tiniest part of his brain understood, there were things he needed to know. “I'll come any time I can get away,” he promised.

Meredith looked like he wanted more information, but he had the good sense not to ask.

***** 

The snow was coming down in big, thick flakes when Ash left the doctor's office. He glanced up at the sky, experiencing momentary vertigo as the snow swirled down around him. A staggering breath pushed out him; he closed his eyes against a dizzy swell of relief and some other emotion he wasn't sure he could name. Griff was safe. Three little words, yet somehow too much to digest in a single afternoon. 

The sun was low in the sky, and Ash remembered his promise to Blanca. Back by nightfall. He didn't have any money left for a cab, not even enough for the subway. He glanced at the door he'd just closed, wondering how Dr. Meredith would react if he begged a few dollars. 

“Ash Lynx, were you really planning on coming all the way down here without stopping in to see me?” A lanky Chinese boy in a puffy down vest leaned on a lamppost, arms crossed against the cold.

“Shorter?” Ash was surprised and delighted – he hadn't seen his friend for far too long. He hopped over the railing and grabbed Shorter's shoulder. “How'd you know I was here?”

The older boy laughed. “You think a pretty white boy like you can drive into my neighborhood without anyone noticing? I was just wondering how much longer I'd wait out here for you before breaking down Meredith's door. It's fucking cold, man.”

Catching up on all the weeks apart, the pair walked briskly down three blocks to Shorter's family's restaurant. Ash realized that hanging out with Shorter wouldn't help him keep his word to his teacher, but it had been hours since breakfast and it didn't look like he had too many ways lined up to get back to New Jersey anyway. He supposed he could call Blanca after dinner; his teacher wouldn't be too surprised that he ended up in Chinatown, no matter where he took Griff.

The bell over the shop door tinkled brightly as the boys trudged into the busy restaurant. Ash inhaled the scents of kung pao chicken and pepper steak, his stomach growling. “Shorter! It's about time you got here! I had to bus all the tables after lunch – don't think I'm lifting a finger to help you for dinner.” Nadia's scolding voice greeted them before they had a chance to close the door. She came out from behind the counter. “Oh, Ash.” Her voice instantly dropped to a soothing octave. “I didn't realize you were here. Are you hungry?” 

The boys sat down near the kitchen, hoping the heat from the stoves would help thaw them out. “Shorter,” Nadia called over her shoulder. “I'm not serving you. Get your tail in here and help me.”

Ash laughed at his friend's pained expression as he got up. “You don't know how lucky you are,” Shorter joked. “One day I'm running off and leaving this crummy restaurant forever.”

His mother, a tiny woman who wore her grey-streaked hair in a low knot, swatted her son as he hopped over the gate that blocked off the kitchen area from the dining. She reprimanded him in speedy Mandarin, gesturing wildly even while holding a tray. Ash watched fondly as his friend apologized, his bold posture folding into submissive bows and nods. Shorter claimed his parents spoke nearly perfect English, but Ash had never heard a word of it. 

He liked being here, surrounded by Shorter's family. It was only the four of them, and his father barely spoke at all, but somehow they had all the noise and energy to fill the place; it was almost like the family was large enough that they barely noticed the addition of their son's blond-haired, green-eyed friend. Nadia brought Ash a steaming bowl of won ton soup, winking flirtatiously as she handed him a spoon. Ash blew her a kiss. She was too old for him, obviously, but it was fun to play along. In a year or two she'd probably be married off and he'd never see her again.

Shorter sat down across from him, complaining loudly about the treatment he got whenever he came home. He whipped a pack of cigarettes from inside of his vest. Ash raised his eyebrows. There was no way he'd get away with smoking in front of his family. Shorter shrugged comically and slid the pack back into his pocket. He reached across the Formica table, unwrapping Ash's chopsticks and twirling them between his fingers.

“So where have you been all these months? I asked around, but no one's seen you for ages.”

Shorter didn't know about Dino. He didn't know most of Ash's history, about searching for his brother or turning tricks or killing that guy when he was eight. Ash liked it that way – it kind of put them on even ground, one guy to another. Shorter ran with the Chinatown gang, a far more organized pack than most of the others in New York. So far, he was just a nobody, but he was well-liked and had potential to rise in the ranks. Ash wondered what it would be like to have a gang – a group of brothers dedicated to taking care of each other. It sounded almost like family. Since the first time he and Shorter talked about it, Ash secretly vowed to find a gang to run with as soon as he figured out a way to leave Dino.

“Ah, I've been here and there,” Ash responded carefully. “Out of the city, mostly. I found someplace to stay in New Jersey.”

“They making you go to school?” Shorter asked. He was in the tenth grade at a public high school and he hated every moment of it.

Ash shook his head. He hadn't been to school since third grade. “Nah. But I do have a teacher. He's a real pain in the ass sometimes.”

At that moment, as Ash was swallowing another gulp of soup, the front door opened, the bell ringing brightly. Ash glanced up. His face went pale.

Blanca stood in the doorway, looking even more enormous than usual. “Welcome!” Nadia greeted him cheerfully, grabbing a menu. 

“What the fuck are you doing here?” Ash demanded furiously, slamming his bowl onto the table and standing up. His chair fell with a clatter onto the wood floor. Nadia froze in her tracks and the kitchen bustle became suddenly still. “I told you not to follow me, you bastard!”

Blanca didn't flinch at the words Ash hurled at him; he didn't even blink. “I believe it's Monsieur who pays my salary,” he said evenly. “Not you.” 

That hurt. All day they'd been partners in crime, united against Dino and the world; at least, that's what it felt like to Ash. To have him come out and say that Ash was just a job to him, a responsibility that came with the paycheck, seemed like a deliberate jab. “Fuck you, Blanca,” he snarled, his voice heavy with emotion. Not even looking back at Shorter or his family, he shoved past his tutor and out into the snow.

He heard Blanca apologize to the Wongs and then the door fell closed. Ash put his head down, jamming his hands in the pockets of his sweatshirt. He walked faster, his eyes burning. 

He'd gone only a few yards when Blanca grabbed him. “Come to the car,” his teacher demanded, his grip strong and solid on Ash's arm. “It's too cold for this.”

“Fuck you,” Ash said again, trying to pull his arm free. He'd been homeless in winter before. He would manage. 

Blanca didn't let go. “Now,” he said softly. His tone left no room for argument. “You know that if you're not home when Monsieur returns, he will send Marvin or Gregory to find you. Isn't it best to come home with me?”

***** 

At least Blanca's car was warm. Ash tried not to appreciate the hot air blowing on his hands and feet as he stared straight ahead, unwilling to speak to his teacher. To his surprise, Blanca didn't scold him. He hadn't said a word since they got into the car. 

The lights of the city were diffused by the snow, making the streets seem soft and almost welcoming. People were walking home, as usual, bundled against the cold but seeming to enjoy the snow nonetheless. Ash wished he was out there with them, not going to a house that would never be a home. Shorter had it so good; he had a real family and, as if that weren't enough, a crew of guys who looked out for him as though they were his family. All Ash had was a teacher who betrayed him for the sake of his damned job.

“Have you thought about what I said? About retiring?” Blanca said suddenly, a few blocks from Dino's. It was out of the blue, but somehow perfectly appropriate, as though the subject had been between them, lingering since the day before.

Sure Ash had thought about it. He'd spent so much time trying not to think about it that it seemed to seep in around the edges as a constant presence. It felt a whole lot like Blanca was abandoning him, even though he'd known all along that their relationship couldn't have been what he imagined it to be. “Do I look like I give a shit what you do?” Abandonment was a powerful emotion – one he was better off denying.

His teacher didn't flinch, didn't seem to register Ash's words at all. “I've advised Monsieur not to get you a new teacher,” he said evenly. “You've been an amazing pupil – I think you'll progress far better on your own than under the supervision of another like me.”

Ash was surprised. He didn't think he'd been doing so well. Right away, however, the glow of pleasure faded and changed to bitterness. “So you're done? That's it? Why leave now when the hard work's finished? If you stick around and pretend to teach me, Dino would keep your bank account ridiculously full.” 

Sighing, Blanca glanced at Ash, then back to the road. “At one time that might have been a decision I would make, but not anymore. I'm tired of it, Ash. I'm not designed for this kind of work. It's like I'm playing a role, like I've been playing it my whole life, and I'm done.” He laughed, short and sarcastic. “I've earned more money than I can spend in one lifetime, and honestly, I'd like to live long enough to try.”

Ash tried to understand. He really tried. He could tell that this made sense, from a distance, but he was too close. All his life people had walked away from him, first his mother, then Griff, and now Blanca. “Do what you like,” he said, gritting his teeth. “It's not like it's any of my business if you want to waste your life drinking fancy margaritas on some beach.”

Blanca stared straight ahead, his black leather gloves clamped tightly around the steering wheel. “It's for the best.” His voice was different, somehow more real than usual.

Ash felt tears sting his eyes. “Fuck,” he cursed, looking the other way so Blanca wouldn't see him cry. “Don't you realize that you're the only person in that goddamn house who treats me like a human being?” His voice pitched high and wild, and it sounded alien even to Ash. 

“Then come with me.” 

At first Ash didn't even know how to respond. He couldn't look at Blanca, not with tears on his face. He almost didn't believe his teacher could mean it, but it was just as unlikely that he'd say anything that insincere. Not trusting himself with his true feelings, Ash laughed. “What – you think you're just gonna walk out with the old bastard's most prized possession?” 

Blanca pulled into the Golzine mansion drive. “Why not?” he asked, pressing a button on the dash that opened the wrought iron gates. “Monsieur wanted me to train you because I was the best – who's he going to hire to bring us back? He wouldn't dare come after us; he knows he'd never survive if I put him in my sights.” 

He parked the car and for a long time the only sound over the hum of the engine was the squeak of the wipers against nearly-dry glass. Ash stared at the falling snow illuminated by the beams of the headlights, aware that Blanca was waiting for a reaction. The trouble was, he didn't have one to give. 

Wanting something to be true and really believing it were two distinct things, and Ash wasn't ready to risk his life because he couldn't tell the difference. He glanced at Blanca only briefly, then left the car.


	4. Chapter 4

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Ash makes up his mind about Blanca's offer.

The Devil You Know  
by Angela  
03-09-06

part four

The dining room was exquisite. Wine-colored tapers were lit to supplement the soft glow of the chandelier, and the two places were set with brocade place mats and cream-colored china. Ash was wearing another thousand-dollar suit, and his stomach growled as he waited for his master to emerge.

Dino had just arrived home barely twenty minutes before, and had ordered dinner held for him while he dressed. Ash would've been just as happy to eat alone in the kitchen, but he knew that would never be permitted. He shifted uncomfortably; his shoes felt tight and he hated the feeling of a tie snug around his neck.

Dino swept into the room, a brandy snifter between his fingers. He looked tense, and Ash figured that the visit to Chicago hadn't gone well. He was doubly glad he hadn't been forced along – the one thing that Dino did to relieve his stress was just what Ash had been happy to be free of, if only for one night.

Ash stood, as he'd been trained, and waited until Golzine was seated before finding his chair again. He knew he was supposed to greet him next, but couldn't find his voice. He knew it was just good manners, but the whole charade was hypocritical and humiliating. Dino raised his eyebrows.

He greeted Ash first. “It is good to be home,” he said, smiling a little. “I trust that Blanca kept you busy enough that you didn't miss me?”

Not even funny. “I assure you,” Ash said smoothly, his vocal cords working now that he had something more honest to say, “your absence didn't cause me even a moment's concern.” Not the way he would have phrased it, where it up to him, but even in polite language, the insult felt good.

Dino didn't enjoy it quite so much. His lips twitched angrily for a moment before he let the comment go with a smile. “Let's eat,” he said, reaching for a sliver-domed platter. “I know how much you like roasted duck.”

That was one thing he'd have to get used to if he ran away to the Caribbean with Blanca – a distinct difference in food choices. Though his teacher had a healthy appreciation for fine cooking, he couldn't imagine the day to day menus would have any of the lavish gourmet dishes that Dino had a particular fondness for. Ash knew could be happy with cold pizza and French fries, but he'd gotten almost too used to the meals at the Golzine mansion.

They ate slowly, Dino because he savored every bite, and Ash because he was always willing to stall the inevitable. He sipped his wine and chewed each bite as thoroughly as was proper, even remembering not to slouch or put his elbows on the table. He could look like a little aristocrat when he tried, and even though he didn't care a whit about that kind of posturing, it was best not to upset Dino after he had a rough night.

“Carbone Russo asked about you,” the mob boss said eventually. The butler was clearing the dishes and preparing to bring out dessert, and though they hadn't said a word through the whole meal, Dino spoke casually, almost as though he were continuing a conversation.

“Did he?” Ash didn't even try to sound interested. To him, Carbone Russo meant nothing but excessive pain and humiliation. The man was sick – into some twisted S & M shit, but only if his partner was young and unwilling. Ash wondered sometimes if he didn't have scars on his back from that monster's lash, god knew he bled enough. 

Dino looked at him frankly, his eyes flashing in the candle light. “He wanted me to give you to him. As a token of goodwill.” The man made a disgusted sound in the back of his throat. “It made me glad I'd left you here, that way I could refuse without looking ungrateful.”

Ash's stomach twisted. Leave it to Dino to be concerned with appearances. It was clear that the older man was watching for his reaction, seeking gratitude perhaps. Ash wasn't going to give him the satisfaction. “One pervert or another,” he said, shrugging. “It's all the same to me. It's not like you never sold me out to any sicko who could pay.” He knew he walked a fine line, taunting Dino like that. It wasn't wise to get him mad, but somehow Ash never could manage to be calm and rational around him. 

Maybe it was the years of rape and forced prostitution that made him disrespectful? 

Dino's eyes narrowed. “You've missed the point again. Those days are over. You are my heir – you belong to me, and no one else will touch you again.” His hands clenched into fists. “Russo is fortunate that I was in a generous mood. I wouldn't hesitate to kill any man who tried to take you from me.” He was deadly serious; it gave Ash chills.

He had to swallow his dismay, force his face to remain passive and bored. He knew he'd never understand Dino well enough to figure out what made him think that he could own people, manage them like he was some kind of feudal lord and everyone one else was just a vassal or slave. Not for the first time, Ash wondered what would happen to him later, when he was too old to attract Dino sexually and therefore useless. Lately Golzine had been saying things about making him an heir to the fortune and position – that was why he hired Blanca, after all – but what if Ash refused? What if he tried to leave on his own?

“And what if it's a woman?” he asked, just to be difficult. “What if a girl made me fall in love with her so that I would leave you?” 

Dino's face was unreadable, but his eyes glinted coldly. “Anyone who makes you leave, male or female, will be subject to my wrath,” he said in a quiet voice. “I've hunted men across the globe, had them murdered even while playing with their children, in bed with their wives. There is no line I would not cross to show you that you are mine. And you are; the sooner you accept it, the better for everyone.”

Ash had no answer. He couldn't call the man's bluff. Not at Blanca's expense. 

He'd been thinking all day of his teacher's offer, of the soft touch of sincerity in Blanca's voice, the compassion and sympathy that drove him to offer rescue. No one had been kind like that before. Not since Griff went to war. A tight ball of emotion and self-sufficiency that had motivated him for as long as he could remember had begun to unravel. How easy it would be to let someone else take care of him for a change.

But not now, not when Dino had practically threatened to destroy Blanca for it. “And if I leave on my own?” he asked at last, his voice wavering.

Dino gave him a long, hard look. “The only thing that will ever separate us, wildcat, is the bullet that I'll put in your head one day. Even you don't have the right to take you away from me.”

One of Golzine's men walked in just then, carrying two dishes of pistachio ice cream on a silver tray. Wordlessly he placed the dessert bowls, bowed slightly, and vanished into the kitchen. Dino smiled softly. “No one can offer you more than I do; I will give you more wealth and power than you can imagine, I will lavish you with gifts and attention like no other lover. Stop trying to escape me. Learn to enjoy it.”

He'd been given that advice once before, on the first day Blanca ever worked with him. Now he had reason to think his teacher regretted it, that he would risk his own life to free him of Dino's hold. And as long as someone – anyone at all – thought that Ash was worth the risk, he could believe in himself enough to prove that he could do it alone.

He'd leave Dino Golzine when he was strong enough to walk away on his own, and not a second sooner.

***** 

After spending four hours at the shooting range the next day, Ash found himself lingering outside his teacher's bedroom. Blanca hadn't reasserted his offer from two nights ago, but he didn't need to. Even though it had been an impulse, Blanca wasn't the kind of man to go back on his word.

But Ash wasn't planning on going anyway. Even if it weren't for Dino and his lunatic need to keep hold of every last thing he wanted to own, there was still Griff to think of. Dr. Meredith said he needed Ash to come around, to remind Griff why he had to come out of whatever fog he was in. Plus, he still didn't know exactly what had happened that night in Vietnam; he wanted to find out who would give his brother such a terrible drug and why.

He just had to find a way to make sure Blanca didn't feel sorry enough for him to try to make him come along.

The door opened before Ash could even knock. “Come on in,” Blanca said, the ghost of a smile on his face. He stood in the doorway, rubbing his wet hair with a towel. His golden skin was damp from the shower and he wore nothing but striped pajama pants. He didn't seem surprised to find Ash lurking outside his door.

The young blond stepped into the room, the scent of soap and aftershave inspiring the lie he was about to tell. He took the seat he was offered, perching on the edge of the couch like a nervous bird until his teacher re-emerged from the bathroom, his hair combed and tied back. 

When Blanca offered him a glass of wine, he narrowed his eyes suspiciously. “Now it all makes sense,” he said in a low voice, not taking the drink.

Blanca shrugged, putting the glass on the table. “What makes sense?” he asked, following Ash perfectly.

“This whole retirement thing. You.” Ash jumped to his feet, pacing with agitated steps across the room. He stared out the window, where the sun was low over the brown grass and dirt of the gardens. “You're really no different than the rest of them!”

Blanca's expression was curious and a touch amused. “No different than who, Ash?” He sat on the leather sofa and poured a glass of wine for himself. “Did something happen since we got back from the range?”

Ash closed his eyes for a long moment, trying to block out the obvious concern in Blanca's voice. It was as though something was different between them, even the situation hadn't really changed. Tears and honesty had a way of pulling down barriers between people, and even though Blanca's genuine affection for him was the very thing giving him the strength to fight Dino alone, he almost regretted the very honest way he'd answered his teacher on the way back from Shorter's.

“I figured out why you want me to come with you to the Caribbean all of a sudden.” The bitterness in his voice pleased him, but he was afraid to see how it affected his teacher. “I can't believe I was so blind.”

Blanca didn't move from his place on the couch; he leaned casually and almost unconcerned on the arm rest. He raised his eyebrows in lazy surprise. “You found out that I want to use you as bait? As a lure for the women charmed by fair skin and blond hair?” He shrugged, his smile almost a laugh. “I didn't think you'd object.”

Ash narrowed his eyes. His teacher resisted his anger, wasn't going to take the worm he dangled. He was going to have to be blunt. “I seriously doubt it'll be women you'll be reeling in with me,” he accused directly. “You want to keep your pretty lifestyle by selling me to any vacationing pervert with cash!” He turned to glare at his teacher as he flung the words at him.

A grimace of distaste marred Blanca's handsome features and for a moment Ash thought of ending this stupid game and telling him the truth. That would include telling him that Griff was his brother, though. It would mean admitting that he was afraid for the older man's life, that he was going to accept his role as wildcat plaything for Dino in order to let Blanca retire in peace. That kind of honesty would hurt everyone, not just Ash's pride. “I'll bet you even made a deal with the old bastard, and that's why you're so sure we could get out all right,” he continued. He hoped that if he made his teacher mad enough, he wouldn't care about leaving him in Dino's cage. 

For a moment Blanca seemed to protest – his body hunched like he was going to stand, his face had outrage etched all over it. Then he froze. Smiled. “You're sharper than you look, kitty cat,” he said softly, sipping his merlot. “There's no way Monsieur would let you out of the country without a pre-arranged agreement. But why not try a little change of scenery? Why not give this new game a chance?”

Ash studied the man shrewdly before answering. It was as though he were admitting to everything Ash accused, but he wasn't really. He was asking again, this time taking care not to make it sound like a rescue. Blanca was putting his offer into Ash's language, to ease the boy's pride by pretending the accusation was right, by not calling his student's bluff.

“If I'm going to be fucked either way,” Ash answered flatly, looking Blanca directly in the eyes. “I'll stick with Dino. The devil you know is better than the devil you don't.”

For an instant Blanca's gaze faltered. He looked almost sad. Ash bit his lip to keep from saying anything more.

“As you wish,” his teacher said in a quiet voice. “I'm leaving in a few days. Consider your training finished.” He turned away from Ash, his eyes seeking the window, the sunset, the cold garden.

Ash nodded curtly, ignoring the knot of pain in his chest. This was the first time he'd ever tried to drive away someone he cared about. It hurt. He felt like a little kid again, longing for someone to hold onto. He wanted to say some kind of farewell, but couldn't find words that wouldn't contradict what he'd already said. Instead he walked toward the door, his eyes on the carpet.

“You're the toughest kid I ever met,” Blanca said suddenly as Ash reached for the doorknob. “Don't let that kill you.”

Ash shook his head, his eyes filling with tears. “I won't,” he replied, his voice thick with emotion. He silently wished Blanca a safe flight, a beautiful woman to love, a happy life. A real life.

He hurried into the hallway, unable to say another word. One day he'd escape on his own and live a real life, too. Until then, he'd fight.

It was all he could do.


End file.
